2008年11月13日木曜日

Back to reality

Now I really feel inadequate, I was getting quite groggy by 7+pm, but it doesn't feel right to leave because there was still work to be done. And work, it seems, was neverending. And I have never felt as inadequate as I am now.

I have never believed that a goal is too high to reach. It had always occurred to me that everyone could do great things, just that many wouldn't take the trouble to. But looking at some of my bosses who probably work 20 hrs a day, I know that I can NEVER be like them, and well, think I've already reached my peak at this moment and it was still not enough, I'm feeling lousy, wishing that I could write better, wishing that I have more RAM and all.

To make matter worse, I was lulled into this false sense of confidence. Hey, it was on time, it was a simple task, so what we have worked should have covered everything. Of course, a wave of a finger by the gods would cause the scuffle for minions like me. And to make matter worse, we were operating at 50% labour most of the time this week:

Monday Afternoon: only me ard

Tuesday Afternoon: only me ard

Wednesday Afternoon: only my ard

Today: only me ard

but we were so chilled about it even yesterday, that I was really brought back to reality today. Yeah, I think my bosses do deserve some 5-digit paycheck or earning 6, 7 times my pay because 6/7 of me may not be able to accomplish as much as them

Oh momoka sent a letter, but it still couldn't raise my spirit

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