Struggle

Have a little more time these days to just simply meditate. It is good to think more and talk less and just heard that a friend is struggling with singlehood and it doesn't sound like he's in much control because apparently he can't be cool about it and is feeling the heat. I felt for him and wished that I had more time to give my advice on grooming etc

But it also triggered another thought: don't I have the same struggle?

I don't. I have been unattached for some time and I'm really chill about it. It is more scary being attached to a wrong person. I do feel a little empty when others mention their boyfriends and girlfriends but I know that I'm not ready and there isn't a starting point in sight. I still don't want to give up from where I dropped off some time back.

My feeling had been the same for the entire 2008 and though it would be better for me to change, a part of me is reluctant to let go. Perhaps, I've met with the perfect one a little too early. I pray that I can be sure of my next step by the end of the year, with my trip to Tokyo, my emotional home.

The good news is that the best guy will not pair up with the best gal, I will have my chance.