It is scary, that whatever I had wanted to share was preached by Bishop Solomon and Pastor Sam over these 2 weeks. Not that I am concerned because I'll be able to find other testimonies to talk about but ... it was certainly an encouragement.
During my prayer at the end of Cell on Thursday, I was sharing with Pui and Melvin that I had not been flustered for a long time that I would really want a storm that will rock my faith. During that prayer, I realized that it could probably be rocked when I step out to serve more in church and this was confirmed by Pui.
Before long, I was asked if I could do this, that and more.
I am cautious. I can contribute but I want to always come in with the right attitude. Getting the job done is easy but I will get burnt out if the goal is just about getting the job done; worse still, my faith would be rocked when Christianity = Service. I don't want another deja vu.
I want to become the kind of men Pastor Toru and Pastor Shintaro had become back in New Hope Tokyo. They are my inspiration: working full-time as a teacher and as an IT engineer while going through Bible College and serving as Pastors. Nothing is impossible if it is truly my calling.
But I'll need to fight my demon, my reluctance to be recognized and to live in obscurity (especially in church) because of the way I fell. But to move towards my calling, I can't just stay in the same position. Perhaps, now is the time to choose to obey.
Most importantly though, let me remind myself: No one is indispensable, don't ever let the title or recognition or friendship cloud my head at any time.
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