Asylum

It certainly feels good not to use the brain for the entire weekend, I felt rested and ready for today.

I had a time of mentorship with Judith. I don't understand how it actually works, anyway, the mentors are supposed to talk to us once every half a year to give advice if we face any difficulty with anything and they are always from a different department so that we will not feel pressured to think that it was another assessment. You know, in the workplace, especially in the Civil Service, everything can be assessed.

I went down and informed her that I'm out of the 'leaders nurturing programme' because of my 'whatever' implications; so effectively, the session was not needed because only the selected few gets such privileges. Sorry, I get skeptical sometimes. She was a little surprised and wouldn't know if we should continue because it would eventually be a wasteful 20+ minutes. Her initial response was that of uncertainty: how could this happen and I wasn't informed.

I was surprised and not surprised. It happens all the time in big organisations, messages and directives are not brought across, sounds like the army units eh? What's new. Yet it is surprising because she was rather an important figure, having been working here for over 20 years. She should have been informed so that her precious time wouldn't be wasted.

Well, she is a nice person although I don't know her well enough. In fact, it was only our second meeting but she was just being responsible and doing an interview with me. She, out of curiosity asked me more about the flow of events.

(Why? So that you can pretend that you care?) Haha, I can be such a bastard (pardon my bad language). No, she was just curious, and I suppose everyone would be and so I gave her a gist of what had happened. I then reflected on how I had wished for the HR side to handle it differently and she took notes, which, from my study of the atmosphere and her body language, she would truly feedback to HR.

She asked how I felt about the whole event. Well, it is only fair for an organisation to set its own guidelines and for the members to follow. I made an irrational decision and have begun to pass up opportunities, but life's like that, isn't it?

I just need the peace and learn from the experience. Where should I go from here?