Boredom

It sucks to be in a 12-day work week, with a marathon in between. Yes, I didn't have to go for the marathon but what's wrong with making myself do something that I may not like and rant about it in my blog?

Nah, I don't hate running, just hate the fact that I have no time to recuperate after a run. Ok, I came home after the Dialogue and watched TV. I knew I had to sleep early but it was an enlightenment, that I realised there was absolutely nothing interesting to celebrate about in my life now. Sometimes, it takes an overnight marathon and a drowsy state for me to realise such things.

Unfortunately, the thought stayed even after I woke up this morning.

[Warning: I have been told several times that by just reading this blog, many have considered me to be ultra-emo and sad]

My work isn't bringing me enjoyment, it's just work (and not very high in pay) and I'm not really confident now because I have no power to make decisions, and I had made a few bad judgement calls lately;

I find home boring too because the conversation is just so ... I can't even describe it;

Church has become so ... (don't know how to describe it either) that I don't feel spoken to a lot of times and I get frustrated by a less than well-prepared sermon that becomes too instructional and/or having too many loopholes;

Tennis over the weekend is getting boring too because I'm not getting any better or consistent;

I wonder if a girl is the solution to all these. I guess everyone hits a wall sometimes, and that there is a need to search for that Passion: guess Jim started dragonboating because of this and Darryl too, began Saxophone and Spanish classes. Is this what Qianlong meant when he warned that I'll regret being a swinging single when I reach my mid-thirties?

I thought I should sign up for tennis school to train properly; and to sign up for gym to try to look better, the fact is, I haven't been spending enough money. Reason being partly of the way in which I was brought up, partly because there is nothing really good to spend on, and partly because I still dream about leaving this place altogether.

Or perhaps, I just need a break. To be away once more. To be honest, my trip to Tokyo in December wasn't exactly a getaway. My trip to Hong Kong in July was stressful and filled with unfulfilled expectations. Then although a girl isn't the solution, another girl is the root of this frustration.

Whatever it is, I need an outlet, though I don't know what it is. At least, I have checked that the marathon isn't really helping.