Our Society

I was so bored last evening that I slept before 11. Well, I used to reach home from work at 9+, have my dinner, bathe and de-stress and it would be midnight in no time which is why I had not noticed it earlier. But when it becomes a lull period such as now, that I reach home at 7+ and can't think of what to do by 10pm, it is quite sad.

I miss the Variety Shows in Japan (sob* sob*) and I tried to occupy myself by sipping vodka, partly to build up my alcohol tolerance.

Anyway, I was reading Today on my way to work and came across this article on the front page - Parent Maintenance, When the kids don't pay up ... A suggestion to enforce maintenance payment through the legal means in face of rising bad debt in the nursing homes.

And there was this article under Top Stories on the Straits Times - Women's group wants state body to handle maintenance - Some women go to court again and again to get ex-husbands to pay

After reading those kind of stuff, I couldn't help but had that wtf moment. I was so embarrassed that our citizens continue to be naive and choose short-term gain over long-term maturity for the society. No, I am not ashamed of the uncaring children though I do not approve of their ways, I am ashamed that people resort to using law to enforce such payment. Similarly, I am ashamed of the women's group who believes that the problem may be solved when government bodies are roped in to force maintenance payments. Although I am against the ex-husbands for breaking a promise to provide for the children.

Parents and children, it is the closed-circuit which parents and children should take full ownership for. Parents are responsible for the growth of the children and if they do not turn out to be righteous men and women of the society, no one should bear the blame more than the parents.

If the parents fail to impart values to the children, to take up ownership and the responsibility and to take care of their aging parents, they can't blame the children. Moreover, in this trying time, it is not easy for most to just provide for oneself, let alone feeding the parents, I believe the parents have the responsibility to plan for their own retirement, and not to burden the children because it is a privilege, not entitlement when children have the heart to care for them.

If they can't save and raise the children at the same time, let's remember that nobody forced them to have kids in the first place. By embracing the law to enforce maintenance payment because one has grown old, the person is, I'd put simply, a parasite. And when the children end up paying less than the old folks may wish, can the old folk complain? The law may eventually force a minimum sum to be paid to the parents, and I guess some will use the law to charge the 'irresponsible' kids but would it have helped? Would the parents enjoy an unhappy provider? The parent-child relationship will just worsen, a long-term suffering because the grandchildren will be affected, all for a short-term monetary gain. While our society may have become First World, our society remains to be in the Third World.

And on maintenance in a broken marriage. Yes, I agree that Men should keep their promise at a divorce to provide for the ex-wives and children, but I also believe that the wives are responsible and should have prepared for the worst scenarios rather than bending the law only to suit their agenda.

Few are forced into marriage in Singapore in these days. And fewer are forced to give birth to children whom they may not want. My reason is that girls are equally responsible for sleeping around with guys and giving themselves into marriage and regretting later because when girls argue that they have more at stake, they should be more discerning and thoughtful before jumping into relationships. And when things don't go according how it was hoped to be, be responsible for the oversight.

If you can't afford to provide for the child without maintenance support from the ex-husband, don't fight for the custody. The article mentioned a 24-year-old lady who was seeking $200/month payment from her ex-husband for two of the three children that they had, and my mind went 'what the hell ?!?!?' No, not because the husband did not pay up. But mainly because it was just $200 and she complained that she had no means to buy essentials without that $200 per month.

Why even give birth to the 2nd or 3rd child in the first place? And if everything had gone well with the children all grown up, wouldn't this couple be likely to charge their children for not providing for them when they get old? I don't see why the papers even bothered to publish such articles. Borrowing a line from the movie 'Revolutionary Road' - One thing I'm glad, is that I am not That Child about to be born, to be born into this family.

Do these people deserve sympathy? I don't know. I just find that they have made a mess and are now asking for others to clean up the mess for them. It doesn't sound right even if they are not the only ones responsible for this mess.