Heavy

Guess my taste in movies had somewhat changed. I watched the Twentieth Century Boys and though I couldn't understand much at the beginning, and its unending ending (it is the first of a 3-part series), I enjoyed the suspense and appreciated the fact that such comic book adaptation with little action could only be produced in Japan. I doubt Hollywood would dare to shoot such a slow-paced movie, anyway, it got me interested in reading the comics. Just like Deathnote (unfortunately, I still haven't brought myself to read the story between Kira and L)

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Over the weekend, I realised that the human body has different tolerance towards physical and mental stress. I was running around yesterday: being the credit card for my yandao brother's purchase of a camera, the Bangla for my Mum's purchase of a DIY wardrobe at IKEA, the PCK for Mum in setting up the wardrobe, taking part in a family dinner at Clarke Quay. My yandao brother and Mum were drained, yet I felt as fresh as the sashimi (sorry, we had Japanese food for dinner). Yet, I was drained today, cracking my head over my discussion with Mrs Adams tomorrow, I long to be like one of the others who don't have to kill so many brain cells each day.

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"Traditional parents usually have this to say to their kids, 'see the labourers out there under the sun? you have better studied hard lest you have to work as hard as them.' But then again, my life in an air-conned office isn't more enjoyable either" I told my yandao brother. I would choose a marathon over the process of coming up with a solution to a problem that no one seems to know how to solve.

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Yes, my dream job is to be a housewife.

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I thought I have been immunized by my Mum has slightly increased her nagging over my singlehood. It used to be 0% but recently, it has been twice over three weekends. "Have you been praying about it?" "Nah, I don't have to since you are already praying for me." Mum is not pleased with this reply.

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Aunty Peggy passed away yesterday. It was unexpected. I don't know Aunty Peggy, except that she's the Mum of Jody and Jeannie, I mean, I don't even know how she looks like. But last evening I received the news through both the Cantonese and YC channels.

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My very first thought was: Oh God, what is it supposed to mean?

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Then I was reminded that there was nothing fearful about death. Especially if I'm suffering mentally by the intensity of my work (it's not the volume but the intensity). Pastor shared a little today and I agreed with most of it, just that I don't know how I'd behave if my parents pass on.

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I can imagine myself expressing little emotions and know that they are in safe hands. I know that I am not special and blessed or not, we will all eventually die. I wonder if the lack of grieving could mean that I do not love my parents. It is a scary thought, scary because it doesn't sound right.