Tagged

Had a fun time with church people at Pulau Ubin today, should be my first since ACE camp in Secondary 2 and managed to talk to people whom I'd never have a chance to talk to in the normal setting because it is just so easy to stay with people whom we know very well.

I made a fool out of myself again (not unusual) and wondered if I should pursue a full-time career as an entertainer. But I heard something interesting, that I am a smart person but doesn't behave that way. I have heard it before but the fact that it comes from someone with a stronger sense of opinion, I should sit up and listen.

Is it a compliment or an insult? Insult should be self-explanatory; compliment because I am not interested in acting smart all the time. Ervin, President's Scholar and Yale graduate dressed up (with full make-up) as Ronald McDonald's before, and I guess what I did today was still tame.

And then, if it is not through my behavior, how does one perceive that I'm smart? It's probably the 'scholar' tag that has been on me since 7~8 years ago, it certainly helped but honestly, I have felt silly more often than I would have liked. I suspect that even Pastor has often been deceived by this tag of mine. It doesn't help too, when new friends just 'Wow' upon hearing that I studied in Tokyo on tax-payers' money. Will I ever be assessed, on a daily basis, on my actual ability rather than the assessment made years back? 

And my clowning around? I don't believe in a 'scholarly behavior', I think Anton understands it well. So are my friends from Todai, we do the most hideous and stupid things, just like any others in the 4th-tier Universities.