Frustration

It was a week of frustration in camp. And I wonder if I could have done anything better as the OC. Plenty of "rush-to-wait" and "wait-to-rush" moments for the men and contradicting instructions from the boss, trainers and underground works of GCT.

I mean, we can't expect much from regulars. They tend to think that all men are silly and that the KPI is to return to camp at 5.30pm everyday whether we do well (which could make us return earlier) or badly (because dinner is planned to be consumed in camp). I just want to say that we are not stupid and the men are not idiots and you just can't give us silly reasons and expect us to sell it to them and expect a good turnout. I had to put my neck on the chopping board to prevent a "mini-mutiny". What I want to say is that as NSmen, these boys cannot e forced, they must be willing and have the conviction to fight. While we are building the camaraderie, telling the boys to fight for the commanders who were with them on the enlistment day, to Brunei, to catch Mas Selamat together, to Taiwan, to CETA, to NZ; the guy had to bring damage to destroy all that through an address which lacked basic common sense.

Bravo is definitely the leanest company with just 2 officers running the show compared to 4 for our sister companies. I can't hope for much from the other 3 officers who were not with us this in-camp.

And then I got a good shock from S3 that commanders like me don't get to MR with the rest of the company and will be recycled to join another unit after that. Oh great, I will simply retire myself when the time comes. I can't imagine having to endure all these by myself without my trusty Bravo.

Lastly, the shock of all shocks, we were to pay for lost equipment that we did not even touch. I will warn my guys not to take over anything unless each tiny little piece of molecule is accounted for.

Had sore throat since wednesday and I realised that only fellow OCs will pity you because sick or not, OCs are expected to work at the same pace. I brought my illness along and charged up, shouting commands as men swarmed the knoll ... and what do I get for all these? a meagre $22 for half-day work on a saturday.

By the way, visited the clinic immediately after I got home...

Anyway, flying off to Israel tomorrow night for work. Time to clear emails.

marriage

Hopped over to Bukit Panjang earlier today. Something stirred as I got to know that JR is facing a likely divorce. It's not really my business and I knew nothing in the background but vaguely speaking, he's still under my charge.

He sort of knew what I was meeting him for, to talk him out of ending a marriage. But listening to his side of the story, I have to agree that it could be the only way to go if the other side also can't give in a little. Such a sad case for a 24 yr old (she's a lot younger) and I am sorry for the baby.

Chatted for about 2 hours and it reminded me that marriage is something so practical. It's no longer the packaging but the actual content. And perhaps, it's true that someone should not be too young when they get hitched.

Training to be soldiers

I received a letter yesterday, addressed to LTA(NS) Brian Cheung, it read, "you are hereby appointed OC 787 ..."

Wow, that means I will enjoy more allowance. Actually that's the only thing I'm concern about, I think I will miss the liberty as 2ic: to move slowly with the 84 team, to ba long long to lead a 84 team fire base, not having to answer to CO ...

Bravo 12

Had a wonderful dinner last evening though my stomach was still churning. While everyone seemed to be willing to meet up, no one was willing to get the hands dirtied to organise something. And at the end, it has to be the usual few 'on' people like robert, mervin, marcus, justin etc to do the logistics and planning. Come to think of it, the last time I met them was at the ORD-function after I burnt the office microwave oven. As for an occasion when we really could talk and laugh without the men, it was just before CNY last year.

It was fun talking about old war stories, all the boo-boos that we made, watching the old war movies starring us and feeling sad that we were so much slower than the heroes in the war movies. My best memory was still the commanders' training, a 2D1N excursion whereby the men were given a day off while the commanders went out for an exercise.

It was fun because everyone knew what to do and there was the minimum level of enthusiasm. Not to mention that robert was made to dig a shellscrape for the first time in don't know how lone. There was added memories because I thought I suffered the most (by my definition), handling the role of 2ic in occupation and then switching to PC-runner with the 4kg cellphone of the 1920s.

Hearing the heroics of A○EC, how I wished I was part of it, and I'm pretty sure the few who sat by the listen felt the same way.

Army Half Marathon

My body was aching as I woke up this morning. Think I hurt my back at the sit-up station of the IPPT yesterday. my body was stiff and as usual, I didn't want to run that half-marathon. Nothing new, I would have felt the same apprehension even if it was not a half-marathon.

Anyway, backing out wasn't an option and I left church with the other running mates. I started off with Jim but I lost him after 200m. I had to tie my shoelace and couldn't locate him when I lifted my head. My start was slow because the body was stiff, and it was just as well since it was rather crowded with everyone still fresh.

Uncle Bernard was within sight till we reached the ECP area and amazingly, I did not feel anything before the 10km mark (I wonder if my sleepiness had numbed my other senses). And so we ran, the run was very well organised: the route was well paved, the markings were accurate, the water points sufficient, the performers were enthusiastic, ...

Slowly and steadily, I ran past 17km mark, then 18, 19, 20 ...

I saw the clock near the victoria theatre, 7.35am~

The clock time was 2hr 14min when I finished but since we started late, I reckoned I took less than 2 hours in my run. Not bad for someone who trained only 2 weeks back, a 10km run on saturday followed by another 10km the next day at the osim triathlon.

Remembered that I had a bad run last year since I drank the night before at the Japanese School's 夏祭り, time passes so quickly. I wonder what I'll be like this time next year.

My body is feeling worse than yesterday but I was happy with the timing. I wonder if I'm gifted in it.

AAR

Ok, it was my first IPPT since Jan 2008 and the first time for me to run 2.4 in a stadium since 8 years ago. I prepared myself well (drank lots of water, didn't touch that bottle of wine in office, slept early, and woke up early to have a light meal), just that I was so excited I had diarrhoea last evening =P

Well, it was within my expectations, missed Gold by 5cm on the SBJ mat and 5 secs at 2.4

Yes, SBJ is THE problem, I'm quite sure I have the power after focusing on it at the gym over the past 2 months. Is it the technique? Did I hurt my legs doing sit-ups? (by the way, it was my hip that got tired at the end of the sit-up station) Think I'll retake if I can get my jumping right.

2.4 isn't a problem, I took some time overtaking the fatties before me and overall, I'll say it's sad to know we are going to fight with these people. But what to do when we are a conscript army?

and and and

Street Fighter - The Lengend of Chun-Li

Lame show

Meditation

It takes time to get used to a new working place, to be familiar with all the programmes and initiatives in place, I guess it's taking a greater toil than I had naively imagined some 2-3 weeks back. I needed some time to take stock over the weekend but didn't have the chance ... perhaps I'd do so while blogging. 

It was a Best Infantry Unit celebration on Saturday morning. I felt I had to go, it was a time to enjoy the sweat that we all had put in. Individually, our SOC, IPPT and ATP results had contributed to the score, our efforts in teaching the basics paid off when the 2nd year commanders brought the men to a successful ATEC. But to be honest, it doesn't matter anymore, it was in the past and it probably meant much more to CO and RSM. We have to look towards reservists and see how we would take over from here. It won't be easy with the top-ups.

Then it was gyming at Fusionopolis with Jim. A friend I have known over 17 years. Through the conversation, I think I've found my passion, but I do have quite a lot of baggage or obstacles in between. I wonder why I am born this way, to be uncontent with baseless rhetorics of others. Jim was describing one of his friends and I could see myself heading that way, and it's a scary thought.

杏ちゃんのことについて、もう今できることは全てやってみた。これで"今"諦めることも自分は納得できると思う。ただ、"今"諦められても、"将来"への希望は減らさないのだ。馬鹿なのは分かっていても、メディアで載らされた「ジェリーイェン、リン・チーリン」との曖昧な関係も理解できないことでもない。

リン・チーリンみたいの完璧な彼女であれば、未練と言うのもなかなか納得できる。杏ちゃんはもちろんそうゆうレベルに達さないけれど、杏ちゃんは俺がどんな時にも優しく接したい人。皮肉なことに、頑張りたいからこそ、逆に見苦しい自分が現れてくる。どうしても杏ちゃんに相応しい男にはなれなかったんだ。

How I wish I was younger and less cynical than I am now. To believe in fantasies and dreamlands. Perhaps, I had seen the best a little too soon and too early. I wish I am like my parents who are happy with what they have, and to work just enough to bring about that. It's a shame that I'm not satisfied with just that. Why can't I be satisfied with just the things around me? I ask God why I feel silly going to waterloo week after week when everyone else seems so happy about the no-brainer arrangement; why do people think that it is really a bonding time by asking general questions on what the person is doing; So God, since I'm made this way, what is the role for me here? How would You place me to make me effective and to give me the joy, more than just the peace.

The comforting fact is that I know I'm not alone: it's at the tip of everyone's tongues, my job is to give it a name.

Rest

Just didn't know hoe to fix the tone for my blog entry for the past 2 days, and the best way was therefore to sit on it and to blog when I feel like ranting again.

Had listened to Thio Li-Ann last evening. It was my first time and I went with a skeptical heart and mind. I didn't like her but I grew to enjoy her sharing (though the lack of aircon had caused me to take a glance at my watch every 2 minutes). Overall, I would say that her argument was balanced (I know, she's a professional lawyer) although she could have improved on the Q & A session.

But content-wise, there was nothing new, and there were contradictory points which was further manifested during the Q & A. Just a personal observation but it was logical, everyone has a different understanding and a different battle ground, I'd just say that I left the room feeling neutral about her, although I still wouldn't like her mum.

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I'm having an ORD-mood really and it is not easy to last through the slow and quiet day. I made a few good calls and some bad judgemental mistakes, well it happens. Anyway, I had some time with Chief and got to realise that why some people are remembered or recognized by all as wonderful people, and some as horrible people, most of us would probably receive mixed reviews and will be forgotten easily. I believe too that some will have more negative memories of me when I'm gone. Just hope that the number isn't too big.

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The boys (from the PTP-batch) have finally ORD. I remember Wang Fei and his horrible mess of hair before he got his crew cut; Yuzri and his non-bathing, deity-worship antics; Stanley and his hyper-ventilation 1st night; having to explain that they will address those with the rank on the shoulder as 'Sir' and those on the sleeves as 'Sergeant'.

2 years later, after Brunei, Taiwan and New Zealand, kilometres of marches, many real and fake injuries, after being declared the Best Infantry Unit and less the few who entered DB, the boys are back on the street. It's really a horrible time to come out, I wonder how many will end up selling handphones but it had been fun

From Zero to Hero - 3 SIR 12th mono is the Best Infantry Unit

I heard that 3 SIR 12th mono was officially crowned the Best Infantry Unit, in the Best Unit Competition. Well, too bad we couldn't get the Best Unit but then, the Commandos have an unfair advantage.

Best Infantry Unit, wow, you mean we beat the other 5 Infantry and 2 Guards Battalions? You mean we came out best in terms of combat, admin, and many other criteria?

It is all the more impressive because the 11th mono achieved the status of the Worst Combat Unit by scoring the lowest in the Best Unit Competition 2 years back. It feels funny to hear that what we used to do, or the standard that was required of us, was actually the best in the country.

I guess the NSFs deserve it more than any other. I still can't imagine a sissy like Stanley Yeo as part of the Best Infantry Battalion. But the NSFs will never get the recognition, because there is no way to be recognized.

Carry on

Think my branch is getting used to life without me. Well, shouldn't be so sensitive that I'm not being stretch when for one day, I could leave office before the sky turned dark. But with only 6 weeks left in this office, I'd say that I'd miss most of the people. I won't miss the work though, but the office was quite fun with all the young capable people.

And I am just amazed that the security of Singapore is very much in the hands of these young people. I have seen other organisation operated by youngsters too, but the quality of work is just different, it is certainly impressive and at times, worrisome that experience isn't valued as much as ingenuity.

Well, this is Singapore, isn't it? Everything goes by the express stream, the Fast-Track is for the average while Super-Scale is for the exceptional.

Had this feeling when I was in unit with Jeremiah giving a briefing in the evening prior to the first ever live-firing for the boys. OC had gone home, CSM as well. We were the 26 year olds telling the Specs who were enlisted for less than a year what to expect and how to conduct the firing of live-rounds to the recruits.

Welcome to the SAF, where nothing is expected to go wrong but if an accident occurs, it is not too difficult to understand why it had happened. And when everyone aspires to be on the Super-Scale, everyone would just hope that they are not implicated when things go wrong. Well, this will be the way our society will become with the emphasis of perfection where no mistake is tolerated.

I may be too extreme in my words but this is the trend, isn't it?

What a Loser

I wonder how many more weeks I can endure if every week turns out to be like this, I would soon turn paranoia. This has been Murphy's Law to the max, and somehow, looking back, it certainly gives a good laugh.

It started off on Sunday when we had dinner. I was 101% sure of booking the right place, only to be told that I had not made any reservations upon arrival. Everyone started doubting if I had called the other restaurant and I was so relieved when there wasn't any booking over there either. At the end, one waitress was kind enough to find a place for us when the superior was about to turn us away. Was there any way to do it better? Get an email of acknowledgement from them and print it out in black and white. Wonder if anyone does that. Well, I called to make the booking, and thought it was enough, guess it wasn't.

Then the week started, I had to handle the claims for my trip and after keying in thoroughly, asking Rosa along the way (she was clearly displeased that I had to bother her), I passed the original receipts to Danny to send over. It was done, just that the receipts were not stamped and certified.

There was no way to blame Danny since he was still rather new, though Bernard would never have made such a boo boo. I took the blame because I didn't brief him enough, but frankly speaking, it was also my first time, the Trip SO has been doing these admin stuff for the previous trips, that I was rather new. Are there any ways to do something good the first time? The high-flyers seem to do that, and I admire from a distance in awe.

そして昨日の夕飯なんだけど、かわいい子を紹介してくるとは思ってなかったんだ。どうせかわいくて、優しい人ならきっとモテモテなんだし。しかし、この同僚のセンスを信じ、いいお友達を紹介してくるなんて、きっと合えそうな人はず。

それに半分の時間には話に入ろうか、どうやって入るのか、なぜか波長の問題でビミョウだった。信頼した同僚なんだけど、いいお友達を自分に押し付けるみたいだけで、無理矢理じゃん(苦笑)。ビミョウ

With the claims sent out, I was told today that the hotel was over budgeted. I wonder if I was supposed to spot it when my mind was totally focused on doing a good brief. Told to get clearance again and it's definitely the last thing I want to do. I'll do it next week, I told myself.

Just when I thought everything would be fine, my boss told me to send something through an email. We made a submission in hardcopy with Annexes that kept changing all the time. Hardcopy was still fine because I could choose what to print for inclusion, but for soft, I had to re-edit. Not that I mind but for one attachment, it wasn't the updated version. Haiz... re-send after triple checks and got an angry call because it was still the wrong one. How did it happen? I don't know but it's definitely my fault (in black and white).

Here comes the killer blow, and I believe I will look back 50 years from now and laugh about it. It was the ORD function for my men from 7 to 11pm  but I thought I would work more my script for presentation first since it would likely start late.

This was a mistake.

Then I got hungry and started the microwave popcorn thingie. I almost burnt my whole office. Just glad that the smoke detector didn't go off. Now the microwave oven is spoilt (lol) and it's so funny burning something while popping popcorns in office (note: not cinema). Sounds like the starting of a comedy? Haha.

Well, I was devastated. Shouldn't have stayed back at all and well, I was just glad it didn't trigger the smoke detector (LMAO) or it would REALLY be a B-grade movie material. Through it, I could see who were the cruel ones and who were the nicer friends, not that it matters so much now. But hey, without anywhere lower to fall, I had some time for reflection.

I can look down for the next 2 months. Or I can laugh about it though it could still hurt, this is the time when I can neither laugh nor cry. I think others aren't that pissed, they're probably enjoying it especially they are not the ones responsible. How often do you see such a loser who gets everything going against him right. Hahaha.

I left after the smell died down (needed to be accountable) and knowing that no one will come rushing in next with a fire hose (heh). Went to the Chevrons and saw the men, will the specs and officers. Amazing that Joefrey was top for CTC. Jon still as usual, rich and GL and bumming around. Chang still the same laid back. Helfizad and Wee Tat looking good. And the men, I missed the day when I first saw them, you know, I do miss the NS days because we are expected to make mistakes.

Not now, but well I can't get any lower than this right (lol). Being with the men and people like Master Loo helped, there is just so much energy in them.

COC

It was 3 SIR's Change of Command parade, and the perks of working in MINDEF is such that my military personnel Branch Head could understand the significance and let me leave earlier to attend it. I enjoyed my service under LTC Marcus and though I have ORD-ed and have been talking to Colonel-ranking people as if they're my friends (ie the DAs), I'll continue to call Marcus 'Sir' for what he earned my respect for him.

Managed to see the boys who have truly become men. Was a little sad that not many Bravo guys returned, Helfizad was nowhere to be seen, CSM was missing, the commanders were probably too busy working, even Chang left before I could reach. Nevertheless, the presence of Jeremiah and the boys (oops, men) was enough and I couldn't help but to recount the day when they first got enlisted, and now realistically looking forward to ORD. Amazingly, most of them have cleared their SOC and for Platoon 4, the inspiration came from PS Ang.

Saw the other officers and former officers too: Fariezan, Fadhli, Eddie, Peck Lim, Ruiwen, Linus, Zihao, Jing Bao, Anthony, ...

Jeremiah gave me a ride back in his new Honda Fit and he was special. The kind who is so chilled about most stuff that he even let me take a short drive in his car. I enjoyed the feeling, and wondering if I should buy a car too (fingers crossed*) Need to thank him for serving together, I too, have missed my time as PC - It was the second-most enjoyable time after my days in Tokyo

And then, I reached home and saw Dad setting up a Facebook account. Wondering if he'll add us and then realize that my brother is attached lol

今だから言えること

Was waiting for the shuttle bus with Robbie this morning. I couldn't remember how it got started but he was mentioning that in times of war, he was sure that I'd rather fight under him (CPL) than some other colleagues (LTA/CPT) in the office. I laughed, I knew what he meant, it may just be an outward appearance but there are some whom I can never picture the combination of them with camo cream and helmets.

We discussed the chicken-and-egg-issue: Do the guys become officers because they are motivated? Or are they motivated because they are officers? To rephrase it a little, are there qualities and characteristics that are appreciated in an officers that make up a larger proportion of scholars? Or do they become officers because they are scholars?

I must admit that I have always been a reluctant leader. Looking back at my NS life, I can hardly remember my Cadet days as they were overshadowed by my escapade in Tokyo. As for my unit life, I was "motivated" and took on the leadership role because of the rank on my shoulders, as compared to being ready to step up even when I do not have the rank.

I remembered my Day 1 in unit, I was received by Malcolm who brought me to the men of the last mono. I did my introduction and Malcolm later pulled me aside: Men will assess you by your appearance, do it the officer way!!

Jeremiah came in but we were different. I didn't care as much about my rank as he did. I didn't endure OCS for my rank, or to lead a platoon for that matter (if you want to know the reason why I wanted to enter OCS, read on lol). I led the platoon because I was the commander not the other way round: he probably became a commander because he wanted to lead/led a platoon. 

I found my footing as I got my own men. My style was so different from Jeremiah and Chang, I don't want to do extra stuff for the sake of doing extra. My specs must be laughing away when I told Helfizad that I would not be teaching my men advanced stuff because they would be able to learn it in subsequent phases. When it's time for them to slack, I want them to slack, rather than to disturb them with inspection and inspirational talks. It was life in a unit, not school.

It is both my pride and regret that throughout my NS life, I had never wayang-ed in front of anyone. Proud of it because it should be the way, I didn't need to wayang, Army wasn't my career; yet it was also a huge regret because it would have prepared me better for University and work-life: we need to be street-smart and shrewd, even if my pastor may not agree totally. It is good to be smart and innocent, rather than just ignorant.

I am not ashamed of my effort, I think I deserved my rank for my training and dedication. I went through just as much as everyone else as a cadet and earned my rank. I am ready to step up when I'm called, yet I'm ready to step down when someone else is more suitable. I just hope that most of the boys would want to fight under me (if they have no choice but to fight under someone).

As for the reason why I wanted to be an officer ... I loved the ceremonial sword and wanted one for myself. It may sound stupid but I had really wanted it. Once it was achieved at the Commissioning Parade ... the rest was just part of the responsibility that came with my sword.

Recuperation

Tossed about in bed last night as a simple shift or a small fidget triggered tremendous muscleache, some people may even classify me as masochistic to do a marathon just for the kick of it. Anyway, my engine didn't really start as I was in a dreamy state till around 6+ pm. Tried doing some work but my office lappie died on me every 30min that I thought I might as well do it tomorrow. Let's pray there won't be much fire fighting.

I had previously condemned Madagascar as a kiddy show but somehow, I had wanted to watch this. I must admit that I could predict the story from start to finish, but hey, I still enjoyed it. Coming home, I still find my dog cuter than Bolt. Guess CG can never replace the real physical touch.Saw that Standard Chartered had uploaded the photo and was disappointed that there was only one for me. Was also hoping that they would take a better one for me, haiz ...

Then I spent the evening stalking friends' photos and broke into laughter when I saw my JC classmate Chang Hsu's dramatic one and felt jealous to see that Taiyao had several pics as compared to my single one.

And some church friends:

Polar, Jimson, Andy and Uncle Keith

And of course, many more army pals:













Starting with the Ardlee, Joefrey, Lead Shaun and CO













Pang Ker, Qadir, Linus, Mun Chai

Eugene and Buddha and Ju Hu.

My target for the next marathon: proper build-up and a sub-5hr timing. Time to massage my legs before getting ready for work tomorrow. Haiz...

飲み足りないから持ってるの

Got to thank Astrid for providing her house last evening. Melvin and Robert's pizza was amazing. I never knew anyone could bake a pizza starting with just flour and yeast and well, who else could we learn from other than these Germans.

Anyway, only got to realise that I had missed Greg's birthday party but then again, I wasn't informed, so ...

Somehow, it was a great evening, minus the fact that I missed the Arsenal VS Man U match. Astrid wouldn't allow the TV to be switched on as everyone would be keeping their eyes glued on the TV. So it was a chilling session with Pizza (which I helped in spreading the dough), tomato salad (which I helped in slicing the tomatoes) over Whiskey (thanks to Robert), Wine (thanks to Stacey) and beer (thanks for all who went to buy).

You know, I have never had a great drinking session ever since I came back (not that I drink that often and it was because I had given up on having great drinking buddies here). Yeah, it was fantastic, just drinking, chilling out with some Wii games in between. We left the house after 3am and frankly speaking, I didn't plan to leave that late, or was it early.

Reached home and laid on my bed without showering (I had not experienced this since I came back from my past life in Tokyo) and woke up with a nice little hangover which was cured with 1.5 litres of isotonic drinks. It was fun and I hope to upload some pics after I get hold of some from Anais and Stacey. Somehow, there is one fewer thing to miss back in Tokyo - Drinking Buddies heh.

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Oh, forgot to mention that I met Jiawei at Suntec, Ruiwen, Jin Bao and Yee Le at Raffles City yesterday. Well, there aren't many places for army boys to hang out over the weekends.

Murphy

Murphy's Law: What can go wrong WILL go wrong.

.

If a paragraph looks weird even to a Japan-trained person like me, it definitely has some problem.

..

If something looks stupid to me, it definitely looks stupid as well to other people.

...

If I need to go off for the weekend, I have to make sure I have everyone's no. so that I won't be asking someone for my Boss' no. come 0130hrs.

....

If I need to bring 2 additional files home so that I won't miss any notes when I need them, I probably need to bring back 4 files.

.....

I'm really sick of receiving amendments (for the errors when I should have noticed myself) and submitting work with little confidence (quite a shitty feeling). I need to think more, and quickly without wasting time because mails and phonecalls come in all the time. I sincerely apologise for the 'sian'-voice as I repeated the 'Yes, Brian-speaking' over the course of last week whenever I picked up the phone.

......

Look far ahead, and phrase the questions such that people can find ease answering.

.......

Looking back, Unit life was such a bliss because any hic-cups could be amended easily: eh? no safety offr belt? Tell a man to run up to borrow from another Coy. eh? no vehicle? Call the bus uncle to see where they are.

........

As for now, I don't have 100 guys running to the find things that I might have forgotten. No vehicle? Why didn't I foresee this in the first place...

Back from Lucas' Wedding Banquet

It amazes me how people do manage to find the one to marry and to make huge decisions together. Always feel a bit left out during weddings that another nice guy/gal is taken.

疲れる日々には彼女に癒されたいよね。だけど、杏ちゃんはおそらく自分のことを忘れただろう。だから次に進むはずだが、杏かちゃんを思い出すとやはりもう少し好きのままでいたくて．．．たぶん自分も出会いがないと言うか、他の人のことを好きになれないよね。今は杏ちゃん以外の人を朝から晩まで思うのも、その人の全てを知るようにエネルギーを入れることも、俺には無理だよ。

Well, will I finally compromise? I guess not because it is just not right to have doubts with what could have been~

Feedbacks

Was told by Chief Clerk that I seldom smile ... and I was thinking, 'yeah, but how can I really smile', but I appreciate her feedback, perhaps I should show a more relaxed appearance even when I don't feel that all's well inside me.

Was reading through the facebook BBS between Ankit and Salim, only then did I realise that ovarb got nocder 2A while ahpla and eilrahc got 2B. Well, so much for being 6 months older than us, though I supposed it was more of luck rather than consistency, there is this saying: Luck is part of the strength.

I guess the bulk of the credit would go to the boys, who endured everything thrown at them and for tolerating us. Next would be our odnammoc MSC who lightened the mood for everyone when it got tough. Well, fizad could claim part of it since he pushed us to perform with his micro-management, but since he's got his praise and good appraisal from the 2-crabs, I should mention the silent workers - guys like us who transformed the boys into men, being with them for over a year since Day 1

Well, my runner just wrote on my facebook page. I'm the shy-type who can't take compliments but the appreciation from men who followed me is one of the greatest honour and assurance that something was done right.

The Boss of my Boss

He treated us to lunch and as he was previously from MCYS, he has a lot of interest in the MnP topic. Well, it is a scary thought for me. Love and marriage may seem so easy and simple but no matter how I feel at times, I just can't let go of what's within and I can't/don't want/won't allow myself to fall for anyone. I admire those who are happily attached or married but I'd prefer to look from afar because I just can't give up.

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The other boss of my boss sent an sms, apparently, the unit achieved A2 NOCDER in the recent CETA. It is above average and with the #%$& that was thrown at us, this A2 NOCDER is made all the more remarkable. I mass-smsed the specs who trained the boys and here are some responses:

"haha ... I('m) happy for ovarb, they just kana too much $&%" [sic]

"so it shows that he acknowledges our effort!"

"they could have gotten 1 NOCDER with us around"

We are doing well as a unit and far much better than the previous mono. No one can claim all the credit, yet no one can discount our contribution.

Guys, it's time to sign-on

CETA & gnibmilc-kcor

Received an sms from my boss' boss back in unit days. He said 'I am so happy our CETA has ended. Our boys did well and put in their best. And you were all part of this success'

I know that they were fighting hard and frankly speaking, I was fighting hard this week as well.

Managed to talk to Choy over msn and heard some of the things about the CETA

'... All the sCP died, even MSC died, so boss had to become a CP, leading 45 men for final mission ...'

'... hasty ecnefed was done as part of UO ... chicken feed ...'

'... we walked so much that the umpire asked if we were really desirotom yrtnafni ...'

I miss the great show, I probably would enjoy fighting this CETA with them, well, I'm sure I'll have my chance during tsivreser but then, it wouldn't be the same, would it?

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Was enjoying myself at rock-climbing today! Quite a good getaway from work though I tore part of my skin at the fingertip. It wasn't that tough but requires the entire body, locomotives (right spelling?), hand-eye coordination, core muscles strength, grip, balance, ... yeah, I'm just bragging, alright

Too bad Robert (a German) lost $100+ to a thief while climbing but the overall experience was great! For anyone interested, please go to Exponent Asia and do sign up for a course.

Jio me along too

PS: Did I mention that I was the minority there? Most of them were foreigners, the locals were probably too engrossed with F1. Oh well ...