Warning Signs

I am in danger of being self-righteous. I recognized it when I read through the Baptism list for Easter and experienced this  "?!?!?!"  feeling at some names. It was like - 

You mean this person wasn't baptised before this?

I felt a certain sense of injustice, a kind of feeling that I was made to live by the rules while others did not have to and still enjoyed the same privileges.

I know, I will just preach to myself. When I agreed to work in the vineyard for a day's wage, it shouldn't matter even if the owner of the vineyard offers the same day's wage to someone else for an hour of work. As long as I get to receive what was promised to me, I should be happy with it.

But I am not happy. While I was happy for some who found an answer in Christ to fill the emptiness in their lives, I was unhappy about how some seem to get away with so many things. Am I the elder son portrayed in the parable of The Prodigal Son? 

I just want to be brutally honest with myself and God, and I feel no shame speaking out loud. 

But just recently, we were discussing something and we had this conclusion that - God is always portrayed as Just but never Fair. Well, for all the mistakes that I've made, I should be dead long before I reached adulthood if God was fair; but having said that, I continue to struggle with this "unfairness". Thankfully, I am born "chilled" that I don't really care deep in my heart about this issue. I wouldn't trade my life with anyone else's life.

Just that the split second of "?!?!?!" reminds me that I still have a long way to go before I can reach the next level of maturity.