Further Disappointment

Just had a glance at my grade before the system retracted it, and to say the least, I was disappointed. I believed I had endured much for the year, frustration at work because the bosses didn't seem to see the big picture and then there were countless u-turns in decisions.

It hurts when the bosses are deluded and don't remember their embarrassing u-turns, then label us as "confused". It happened just yesterday again. And when we showed our boss what was recorded in the minutes, she wouldn't let go and insisted that we further discuss but to her, we are still "confused".

I feared, that if my boss doesn't recognise that she was flip-flopping, then she would have the impression that I am incompetent ...

Yet I believed that I had performed this year, compared with the previous year. And that I was doing better than the other colleagues on the same grade. In short, I was hoping for a promotion even, thinking that it's about time that I get it too.

So I was disappointed and there was no way to voice my hurt other than to God. It was a let down, an unjustified end, at least to me. I believe that I deserve more.

In this moment of disappointment, your words comfort me. My God be my righteousness, I hold onto this scripture and expect You to right all wrongs.

Living Godly Lives in a Pagan Society

11 Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. 12 Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

13 Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, 14 or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. 15 For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. 16 Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves. 17 Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.

18 Slaves, in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. 19 For it is commendable if someone bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because they are conscious of God. 20 But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. 21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.

22 “He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.”[e]

23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. 24 “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” 25 For “you were like sheep going astray,”[f] but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

For that I declare peace over my life, I may endure disappointment but I live in peace, that there will be a meaning to all these suffering. That I will be a man of influence, and salt and light at my position, even when it is not valued much by my Director. I will not sin but bid my time, and raise it at the appropriate moment, at the opportunity that you will present me.