Mental Toil

I wasn't prepared for this week at all, and even as I related the past events to Uncle Keith over lunch on Thursday, I didn't know that there would come a greater jolt which would make another change on how I should respond to certain issues ...

First it was the false accusations that was made known to me on Tuesday and I'm glad to have people coming in to stand by me, allowing me to pour out the disappointment and sorrow over lunch Wed and Thur. I had wanted to respond in the right way and approach my Director with my disappointments when I get to meet her on my work in June or so ... as for the false accusations, there was nothing I could do, I would just update her in June, while expecting solutions or relief amidst all these. My desire was that I would still be effective as I struggle through the incessant trials of being unappreciated, undervalued, made to sacrifice for doing something right ...

And then we were told by our Director that she would be leaving in end-April. On a personal note, I am not sure if I can still air my grievances and disappointment. It also struck me that not long ago, I had prayed about leaving vs staying and as I had peace to "stay", I didn't expect a change could come in this way ...

And now, knowing that she would be gone, I was reminded that for all my bitching and rants, she was the engine of the department and she brought more values than problems to us (well, comparing with one Tin Pei Ling: it's ok to have blemishes, you just need to show your capability, that the pros far outweigh the cons)

Everyone in the Planning & Policy team was sad, because she was a good boss in a day-to-day basis. She is hardworking (although the priority might be wrong), and kind (being apologetic about making us come for a 7.30am or 8am meeting when we do not have a choice means a lot).

Yet, I know that it is also good to have someone new, preferably someone younger who, instead of experience, could bring more clarity and direction to us. I am looking forward to learn from a new Director (believing that I've learnt almost everything my own Director has in store).

With all these trials and structural changes, there were Alpha and Kairos to handle, I was glad that cell wasn't heavy and that Bluemoo had a quiet night yesterday.