Meaning

I was anxious after going through the interview to IE Singapore on Monday and wondered why it took so long for them to reply. As the week passed, my optimism dropped as it shouldn't take much for them to call me back for another round if it was successful. And true enough, an email came at 4+ this afternoon, informing me that it has been unsuccessful.

It was a blow to me:

1. I had the peace to make the application
2. The job scope is really what I want to do
3. IE isn't really the most prestigious/sought after place
4. I have a poor record at interviews in the civil/public service

I know that only 1 reason is enough for the failure while success would require many matching criteria. Since they took an entire week to answer me, did it mean that I could have gone through? Have I been getting rejected because of my relatively poor grades in uni (Bs and Cs)? Is it simply because I have only 1 year left on my bond? Is it because I indicated that I could only start work in January?

I sent a reply, thanking the lady for informing me, but also asking her for the reason(s) if it is not inconvenient.

I would be surprised if she cares to reply.

Nevertheless, a "no" is a "no".

I'm a little embarrassed but more importantly, I need to rediscover my worth. I was reading John Bevere's "Extraordinary". I asked God, I haven't proven myself at work, I'm not the extraordinary superstar in office, when a 2nd upper is the ticket to high CEP, I had let myself down in college, ...

God gave me a verse. Philippians 2:22 - But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel.

Paul indicated that Timothy has proved himself in looking out for Jesus's interest (ie His people) rather than his own interests.

I rest in hope that His will is bigger than a transfer.

Just as how He had blessed me in the relationship: by letting go, He placed it back onto my hands.

Just as how I can hope in buying a house: from the disappointment in the BTO exercise in March, if successful, the SBF exercise would have been a bigger blessing than the BTO.

And the job ... I hold on to see what He has in store.