By this shall all men, know I am your disciple

Was told by my Director and his boss before we left to enjoy the Chinese New Year that I would be getting my P come April. In a brainless fashion, it would be counted as third-time lucky after being disappointed twice over the last two cycles, but more interestingly, I did not feel particularly happy about it.

I was wondering why I did not feel the joy or excitement and came up with some possible answers. I had been disappointed for so long that I had adopted a victim's role and felt that I might lose my deserved position to complain (this was silly and I discarded it almost immediately). More importantly, I knew I had not done much over the course of last year and felt resentful toward the system that did not award for good work (I felt I was more deserving over the last two cycles but was instead disappointed). 

Fortunately, I knew the development was a good thing and that I could appreciate the tangible aspects of it (higher increment for a start), and that it was not undeserved (I felt that I had contributed sufficiently over the first two years to warrant this and the comparative inactivity over the last year was largely due to the restructuring of the organisation).

I believe that all these come for a reason and God made it happen at the right time. And so I returned to my roots, the tried and tested journey of articulating what I had learnt in the process, and things I had done differently that allowed this to take place.

Firstly, the timing had been perfect. I had the opportunity to write our cheque for tithing over the last 6 months and appreciate how the combined income had just fallen short of the income ceiling to get the public housing. It was not engineered on our part (we did not intentionally quit or forgo anything), in fact, I recalled a time of wrestling with God after receiving the news of my missed P in March 2011. During the time, I lamented on the lack of reward for the suffering, and how tough it would be to get a house in consideration of marriage etc; and God distinctly answered me that He was big enough to lower the requirement and that I did not have to keep pushing to up my net worth. Things began to unfold, the income ceiling for public housing was raised, we got our dream unit after a couple of tests of faith. And every time I wrote that cheque for our tithe, it was a reminder of God's faithfulness, and His perfect timing. Yes, it's time for us to breach that artificial barrier after we have gotten the house.

Secondly, I had a changed perspective towards my work recently. I was following this year-long chronological bible reading guide and reached Ephesians and Colossians recently. I was taken by the Instructions for Christian Households: the portion on Slaves spoke strongly. 

Ephesians 6:5-8

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free.

Although I was irritated by the organisation and sought to move out, I was to serve as I was serving God. As I changed my attitude, I believe it got me out of the wilderness and set the motion for this P in the spiritual realm.

Thirdly, it was by grace, not by works. I recognise that many successful people (entrepreneurs and C-suite people) attribute fortune as part of their success alongside with hardwork. Similarly, from this experience, it was by grace that the announcement of the P came about. I had worked hard for it, and in accordance with Ephesians, dedicated work is the basis and with grace, comes the reward.

I look forward to the enlarged portfolio and will continue looking out for suitable opportunities. At the right time, the move will take place.